pusssay.tumblr.com
catch me on there.

I like it salt
I like it wet
Like my makeup in a mess
So I cry hard
Let it fall
And I won't stop until my tears are all shed

sick

already? i think that everyone around me got me who contaminated the air got me sick, becos i don't recall sharing any foods/drinks with anyone .. currently waiting for bubs to come home from school so he can help cure me =)

the weather was so delightful today, i'm loving it. need to go sweater shopping soon.

mmm.. makes me do nasty things ..

here's a preview of the shirts. released saturday septemeber 26th, 2009.
get at me for shirts!

AIM: pussayssupreme

quick post

patrick picked me up, babe came over while i was showering. got ready, his fat ass it sleeping .. its 3 and were suppose to go by his dad a birthday gift cos i can’t go to the dinner. me and dad gonna kill it at buffet tonight =) then off to party! be back tomorrow morning. teheh.

i came across the picture, and it hella reminds me of us! tehehe, i love you baby :)

my moon, my mans
so changeable and
such a loveable lamb to me

BAD

woke this morning with the most disgust feeling in the world. my stomache felt like it was going to explode and my legs were so weak, and my entire body was feeling hot. i felt like shit, but still pushed myself to go to class becos i have some important things i needed for english. school went by fast, but today wasn’t my dayy. baby picked me up and chilled me with til 6 cos his teacher wasn’t going to school today so he has open period first, but he had to go back to school 7-9 =( ugh gayy. napped for a bit then woke up. watched some movie then did some homework. baby showed me this site pandora. like some internet radio shit. fun. i’m starting to get back into music again and i’ve been updating my itunes. now i just needa wait for my ipod then it’ll be cool. =) tomorrow’s friday, thank god. i really need another break. this week was ugly. weather + tests + grades, ect ..

like i told myself 47948329 times, not to get to close to people, they end up stabbing me in the back. it sucks and sad. but whatever, i’m not going to let it bring me down becos i know i’m so much better than that. but after recieving some shadyass news, it breaks my heart to end another friendship with someone who i hella thought was my friend. this is why i hate having female acquaintances. there just a bunch of shit. but whatever anyway, school was ok. i turned in my test to my econ teacher and she asked me why i failed and i told her becos i hella blanked out and whenever i take tests i get nervous .. she felt bad and lemme copy her answer key and gave me a few extra points. it bought my grade from an F to and D. its better than nothing, i’m 3 percent away from a C so this friday’s quiz should bring it up. i hope. that made my day somewhat. the rest of the day was alright. so tiring. i felt like shit and kept thinking about college. i read the news today and there’s approx 8000 people on the waiting list to attend deanza and i don’t even know if i’ll get accepted next yr due to major budget cuts. whackkk.. patrick picked me up from school today and dropped me off. i miss josh alot and i can’t wait to see him on friday.. ahh i need a break to just relax. i’ve been stressed this week, this week isn’t my week. so i txted my dad and asked him to getme jumbajuice. mmm, yeah that’ll cheer me up. okay i’m going to do hw now and watch some tv. bye!

overwhelming

so friday, got off at 1:48. walked to bette’s and waited for babe to get me. when he came, bette rode with us to my house to pick up my stuff, then we went to great mall cos i wanted to get my sanrio keycap, but they didn’t have the hello kitty ones .. so i got a chococat & and a hello kitty little mirror keychain thing. =) after we went to jolibee’s and then dropped b off at tuans. went back to babes house, showered, chilled til 10, bette and tuan swooped us cos baby didn’t wanna drive. met up with milpitas heads at starbucks and safeway. bought meat, and a shit load of chips for our trip. went to sf fishermens warf, to crab. attempt - failed. saw seals tho, hella cute. went home around 5am, and crashed. woke up the next morning (saturday) got ready and babe swooped me. went back to his house and chilled. decided to wash the car becos it was hella hot! after showered and got ready. cleaned babe’s room, somewhat .. then went to tuan’s. hookah’d for a bit then people came. we played bp, and then poon broke my hookah =( everyone else came after the fight, then party got cracken. played like 6 games of bp and 2 games of shotpong. i was pretty gone by the end of the night. decided to sleep over baby’s, so texted mom. sunday morning, woke up at 10, baby dropped me off home. my aunt n cousins were over. mom was mad, but whatever. showered then left again. chilled at babe’s, picked up lyka, then big5 to buy those clips thingie then back home. chilled for the rest of the day. ate some crawfish and got dropped off at 9.

today was horrible. i have an f in econ … due to my test.. ugh, i have another one this friday so i need to pass it. i had a test in eng, which i think i failed also. i’m starting to hate school now. well blog more later, i have alot of hw today.

recap

- mcdonalds

- babes

- home

- alviso

- amc mercado

- terrences

- coxs

- home 3AM

Good Men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls, and at work. Most of them we can’t see because we don’t know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn’t flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus,Hummer or Mercedes. But, as you mature, you realize it’s better to find someone who’s got your back rather than someone who turns your head.

mwahs'z

written in here in awhile .. let’s recap on last weeks. school was okay, had only 4 days of school. but they all went down so slow.. when friday came, it got better =) party at tonys! haha saw some old faces, and new faces. it was fun. slept over babe’s house, finally! it’s been awhile and shit. next morning, woke up around 11, showered, and got ready. babe got me, and we went to go eat. after went to valleyfair and tried looking for a bag.. but no look. instead babe got me a mickey mouse sweatshirt. then went to babe’s house cos he has to mow the lawn. after went to tony’s to clean up with jimmy and tommy. we had hella fun cleaning, lol. after went to dennys then crashed at 1. sunday woke up and got ready. ate crawdaddy with babe, then went to tony’s to continue cleaning up. jen, tulio, peter, tony, bette, paul, tuan, and jimmy came later. played a couple rounds of bp, then left. today went by fast, since it was early day. got dropped off at bette’s after school and waited for babe to get me. he got out early so got me at 2. =) picked up chris and ate at pamola. i’m hella full and watching some tv. i have no homework today, yay! haha oh yeah, it was raining yesterday n friday night. crazy, weather has been acting up. i like it tho.

to do list

in need of some damn piercings, cos i miss all my piercings!

nape

nose

re-pierce eyebrow

tragus

clit

re-pierce tongue, cos earl has my damn piercing!!

vampire bites

smiley

rook

snug

so i was informed today that i needed a seperate binder for speech and eng4. another notebook, and another workbook. so thats 3 binders, 3 notebooks, 2 workbooks, and a portfolio. school’s pissing me off now. i def. need a backpack, not a bag. ugh, so much shit to do. today was funn. bette picked me up after school. picked up her little sister, kelly. dropped her off and we went to the mercedez dealer ship to wash her car. but the guy told us it would be a 2 hr wait, so we left and went to some retirement home and got applications. after went to pasta pomodora. it was the nastiest shit ever, bleh waste of 22 dorrrra. after went to an animal shelter on monterey cos we were bored. saw hella cuteass dogs, cats and rabbits! aha, after went back to my house. chilled then went to office max, target, luckys, then coldstones. busy,busy,busy day! tomorrow i getta see my baby! =)

school

was cooo. coo ass classes. coo ass teachers. coo ass day. =)

.. well so far.

i’m very sad and dissappointed that tonight has to end so shitty. today was my day of seeing you til next week and the way things ended today was not how i expected it to be. i would of at least expected something cute, and special but no. also, the fact that we barely had our time together, i was expecting you’d make it happen but i guesss not. *sigh, i guess w/e.

went to sf, the urban outfitters was dissappointing. went to blondies, then pumas. thankyou, thankyou, thankyou soo much for the jeans babe! =) we finally have matching evisus haha. but cheaa, went to ihop, but the lwait was too long, so drove to lee’s noodle house on king, ate. then got dropped off. today was good. i loved it. so sad, it’ll be my last saturday of the summer. .. *sigh, one more day of fun. then monday i have to prepare for school. then tues, it’s helloo sr yr, goodbye summer.

so like, babe and i were playing against terrence and john in bp. and like we were so close to winning but then ended up losing by 1. =( so saddd. drank so much beer last night ugh. haha finally gulped down an entire cup =)! yay me, lols. but yeahh, last night was beer beer beer. i wanted some mind racers, but i guess everyone was still hungover from the previous night -_-, which i missed.. haha but yeah. today babe and i are planning on going to SF? not so sure prolly tomorrow tho. ugh last friday of the summer was yesterday, today is my last saturday. gotta make the best outta it! becos sunday will be my last day of fun! technically monday, but then my mom said i have to be home monday. =(

so yesterday bubs and i had an ugly start of the day .. i’m sorry. but around 3, he swooped me, and we went to drop off ben. then went to babe’s house. chilled for awhile. watched edward’s scissorhands. it was a good movie. then babe said, he wanted to go valleyfair and look around and maybe buy something. we got there and went straight to northface. he got me my backpack! =) and this sickass stainless steal water bottle. yayayay! i laaabsuu bb. after we went to go eat at the foodcourt. i had clam chowder, and babe had panda express. after went to pick up ben. then headed to cox’s. didn’t drink cos of last night ; got hella fucked up. enid asked me to be his partner in bp, and he offered to drink all the beers cos he wanted to get fucked up cos he said he’s better drunk. we played and both made hella impossible shots! haha good one. won the first game, but second lost by 1. =( booo. after went home. kisssed myy babyy goodnight and went off to bed. today babe’s taking me and ben job hunting. i’m going to apply at aldo’s shoes, cos abbey said they were hiring. ahhh today was hot. woke up at 11 cos my whole room was burning.

went to santana row, was gonna buy myself this bag i wanted, but then i ended up walking outta urban with nothing. went to woo-hoos, ate some fish tacos, it was alright.. not my type of food. after went to amc to buy tickets for 12:01 showing, for inglorious basterds. went to tuans, chilled, then played beerpong. not my night! hella sucked ass. left to go watch the movie, hella boring. the ending was good, but overall that was not worth it.

i want my dog

09-10

american gov. / bernadini

marine bio. / avila

french 02 / simons

avid 04 / sandate

eng. 04 / dirck

speech / dirck

i’m pissed about my classes, due to my extra class ‘speech’. wtf is it and why do i need it? oh wells .. 6 classes aint that bad. AND i have 5th n 6th with the same teacher. this teacher better not be an asshole otherwise, i’ma just die. also what sucks is that babe can’t pick me up anymore cos i get out at 1. so, i have to walk to bette’s and wait til 3 for him to get me. schools in a couple days. fuck, need to do all the things i wanted to do by this week!

so far...

’m still getting use to my new hair. my hair feels nice and soft, which is good. it’s not damaged, but my ends are. SO, today i’m going to buy the organic coconut spilt ends mender, which lyka recommended me, cos i tried her’s yesterday after she dyed my hair and it works really well. makes me split ends soft and helps mend it. can’t wait. babe’s running late today so won’t be able to go out til 6ish? =( boooo.

just finished re-organizing, cleaning, moving my room. it looks for cleaner for once, yet still plain .. ugh i need to go ikea and buy some drawers n shelves. maybe if my room was more entertaining, i’d stay home more often .. MAYBE. ahah, well tomorrow we’re all watching midnight premiere of district9. yay, can’t wait! this will also be the second time i’ve been too a midnight premiere :) hehehe. also tomorrow me and lyka will be baking, or hopefully. unless we get lazy or something, lols. i’m still deciding if i wanna dye my hair .. =/ i do but then i don’t cos the damage it’ll cause. but i hate my blonde parts now! ahhhh. for some reason, i’m excited about school. idk, i feel like i need to keep myself occupied and away from “trouble”. 2 more weeks, oh and i found out i start school on the 25th. k, i’m gonnna try sleeping now. all the moving, cleaning n organizing kept me up. haha. night!

bye bye blond(e). hello midnight (;

HBIC

“I like pissing guys off on purpose. You know, jus so I remember that he really cares. When I get him jealous just so I can see how much he wants me to himself. To take hella long to reply just to make him wonder.. To give him those bullshit answers like “Mhm, I guess, Sure, Idc” just to get him mad & think of whats wrong then have him try explaining how much he only wants ME. When I play around acting like Im serious to make him think like Im doubting him. But I hate when tables turn and he starts acting like that. You ask why? Cause bitch only I can. You know, dominant. Hahahah”

tomatina

in abit with bubs =) i can’t wait, i’m starving. i feel that tonights gonna be a good night. + the gift i got him. it may not be much but he wanted it. heehe, hope he likes loves it. i love you baby, happy 15 months!

i miss the good old days ..

i was looking through babe’s old posts from awhile back and it made me realize how much we’ve changed and grown apart .. i also realized how much fun we use to have and how much i miss the old us.. =/ brings back so much memories just reading em again .. oh how much i miss everything.

August 18, 2008

My Baby
If you can be in my shoes for just a moment you can see all the things you couldn’t see outside. You can see the my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my past, my present, my problems, my regrets, and my mistakes. But the thing that will stand out and surprise you the most is how much I’m in love with her. She knows me like I’m here favorite song and the way she shows me how much she cares makes my heart skip a beat. I dont know if she knows this but shes got me by the heart and I hope she never lets go. Who knew I would find the one for me by accident when I was looking for a party, instead I found love. The things she does and stuff she says. I love everything about her. I may not show it and she may not see it all the time but, “Once you step into my shoes , you will see, my love, my life, my future, is she.”

August 26, 2008

SO LONG SWEET SUMMER
Paul and Ben told me that this was the best summer they had and i totally agree Paul loved everything Ben loved being on his own and living with Paul. As for me, the person who made this summer the best was my girlfriend. She was there from begging till the end we went through so much shit together. She was there wen i got my car, when i crashed my car… and how we would go out everyday and even when there was nothing to do having a lazy day on the bed just sleeping our asses off i would enjoy every minute of it because it was with her. We would sneak out in the middle of the night just to be with each other, got caught twice but shit that didn’t stop us. Nothing can Not a car crash not our parents not back stabbers, not even the distance. There not a day when i dont think about her. She means the world to me. I love u baby.

May 10, 2009

Happy Anniversary!
I never thought i would fall for someone is hard before, i seriously thought that i would just be cupcakin with girls just for fun and never even think of committing to a girl. Until I met you, my life completely change. I never experienced anything like this before. I thought i would never know what love feels like but i guess you proved me wrong. You gave me butterflies in my tummy and had me thinking about about 24/7. To me it doesn’t feel like a year but i guess time flies by when your in love. We would chill from morning to late at night and still i feel like it wasn’t enough time and i just wanted to be with you longer. Just being with you has been an adventure there was so much we have been through and so many hardships that we overcome. Every moment with you i cherish with all my heart. I love you so much! I know that i have no car, no job, and no money but I’m going to get my priorities. I know that you get mad at me a lot and i know there are times where you get sick of me but i love you no matter what. I wanna give you everything and i know that sounds crazy but trust me when i say this “i will take care of you”. I really don’t know what i would do or where i would be if i didn’t have you. Before, my life was all about having fun, going to parties, flirting with girls, and doing what ever i want. Now the only thing that matters to me is you. You are my life right. We have change so much in the past year that we have been together and i know that this is only the begin for us and there is still so much we have to learn and so much more experiences we are going to be going through. I love you baby. Thank you for staying with me this entire time and bearing with all the stupid things i do. Happy One year baby. One Year done, and Forever to go.

happy 15 months bb

i laaaah you no matter waht.

LA TRIP CONT.

the worse trip ever. fucking regret ever going, and so much tears were shedded, i didn’t even eat roscoes because my mood was so fucking killed! i’m so pissed. ugh, my eyes are swollen, my head hurts, i didn’t at all yesterday. me and you had one of the biggest arguements in history. all though you make so mad, sad, and i hate you so much, past all that, i still love you, and i always will. you make me happy deep inside, but outside is a mess. i just want you to realize something for me. it might take you some time, but that’s fine. when you do realize it, lemme know. btw, thanks for jack in the box last night. i love you.

PS. you made me cry one hell of a lot, but you should be happy you’re still alive.

almost time to go. ugh, i knew that i wasn’t gonna be able to sleep so i just decided to pull an allnighter. i have everything packed; blanket, pillows cos i know thats gonna be a long ass ride. bought extra clothes incase the weather down there was going to be hot, or nice. my mom gave my 20 bucks for the trip .. i’m gonna go straighten my hair. just showered so yeah. kk tooodles!

ikea/sf

LA TRIP

i’m excited! it’s been awhile since i’ve been down there. pulling up an all nighter, and leaving at 5am in the morning. i’ll be k.oed during the car ride. need to pack for tonight. also gonna shower so i don’t feel dirty tomorrow during the day. also gonna hit up roscoe’s before we leave back home. mmm, can’t wait.

ohh thanks for the mug baby! =) i love it. but this still doesn’t make up for upcoming monday -_- .. <33

i just realized i am not a sr. which means i can’t afford to fail any of my classes, cos i’m exact on credit boooo. i also need to straighten myself up and start focussing on school work. i can’t slack off again. i also need to find a job fastt. need to start saving up for college and moving out. i got 1 yr left and it’s gonna be the worst yet best yr of my life. knowing that i’m all grown up with so much ahead of me. i finally made it. it’ll all be worth it in the end. i’m going to make my parents, friends, and my boyfriend proud. and show em that i’m not a fuck up or a lazy ass. i know i can do better, yet the littlest things distracts me. it’s time for a change. BIG change.

AMEN

Guys are assholes. If you argue with him, you’re hard-headed. If you’re quiet, you don’t care. If you call him, you’re too clingy crazy. If he calls you, he says you should be happy.

If you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you. When you do love him, he leaves. If you don’t fuck him, you’re a tease. If you do, you’re easy. You tell him your problems, he says you’re irritating. If you don’t, he says you don’t trust him. If you lecture him, you just want to argue. If he lectures you, it’s because he ‘cares.’ If you break a promise, he doesn’t trust you anymore.

If he breaks it, it’s because he had to. If you cheat, he expects it to be over. If he cheats, he wants another chance. THEY’RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME. Guys drink to forget about girls; girls drink to think back about the guy. When guys are in love, they become poor; when girls are in love, they become pretty. Guys can forget, but can’t forgive; girls can forgive, but can’t forget.

When guys are heart-broken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl; when girls are heart-broken, they try to find his characteristics in another guy. Guys wish to be her first love; girls wish to be his last.”

Went to Michaels birthday party/kickback. it was funn. sorry i had to leave unexpectedly for a bit. came back around 10 and drankkk. drank drank drank some more cos michael said i owe him. drank drank blah blah. k.oed.

have fun in NY !

today was coo. babe picked me up around 5. went to panda express. met up with bette& tuan. went to cox’s for a little kick back. beerpong, and such. me& bette drove back to her house to pick up vodka. came back took shots with karla. later on everyone called “bufflao” on me -_-… killed the vodka. but thank goodness they called “bufflao” on bryan too cos i would died if i had to kill it all to myself. after went to babe’s, showered, then tuans. played kings cup. it was a funny ass game; “daddy after sentence.” haha. left at 130ish, just got home. tomorrow, babe& i are suppose to stop by ikea, to start planning and having idea’s on the house. then maybe watch “the collector” later on tomorrow night? maybe .. okayy, i’m tired i’m going to sleep now. gnite.

xoxo, tina

there is happiness

pure love comes in a pack

and I can’t sleep. i’m hungry but so fucking lazy to make something to eat. too lazy to get up. currently in bed listening to music and browsing. i miss my boyfriend. *sigh, wish he didn’t have work tomorrow. ugh, i think i’m going with him to his dentist appointment tomorrow er ideerno. maybe. the summer is ending quick, and nothing is happening! this part of the month sucks cos everything is dead. barely any parties and kickback. ugh, how delightful. i’m not looking forward to school at all. i also need to go school shopping. yay, something to look forward too. ehh today was good. had lunch with daddy today. omg i missed him so much! ate at paloma. after went to target and got some foundation, a new concealer, and makeup remover. after babe got me and went to bens. watched saw5. everyone else came, blah blah blah. went to quicklys. dropped off kris and ben. parked infront of mcdonalds and tried figuring out what to do. couldn’t so went home. blehh. hope tomorrows something to look forward to.

adore

A Hurrrcut, babe’s house, spent some time with Lyka, wrote her a letter :) Talked about cupcakes, John bought me BK, thanks: Sexy time with bubs (; Dishes, Home, Sims3, Shleeeep!

xoxo, tina

it’s 1:26am, i’m sitting here watching “that’s 70 show”, i can’t sleep. you’re all i think about. this week has been suckie, due to your overtime shifts. i hate it so much. i only get to see you hella late at night. i spend the day waiting and waiting and waiting. then get all excited when the time comes. i know i’ve been a dick to you whenever i see you, but deep down inside, i’m the happiest. i don’t show it. i’m sorry. i miss you so much. it’s driving me insane. i can’t wait to see you. today was hell. not seeing you was the worse. i hope you get off early tomorrow, becos i hate waiting. these past 3 days have been sleepless nights. i just lay in bed and close my eyes and pretend i’m sleeping. when really i’m imagining me being with you. that’s all i wanna do. BE WITH YOU<3>

the close ones i keep

J . M<3

I just want to say I love you, and thank you for putting up with me.

*mwahzZz

so much beer

Last night, was too much. Came home pretty early, 12? Haha, suprisingly. Woke up with a fatty ass headache and a weak stomache. =( Boooooo. Todays gnna be 94, fuck we needa go swimming.

J . Home cooked food
Damn .. It’s been awhile since I eaten some home cooked food. I feel bad that I haven’t been home alot and shit. Only to sleep, shower, and get ready. I needa cut down on weekdays and just stick to weekends. Ohhhhhhweee, I sense that tomorrow’s gnna be a good day =) Ohh and R.I.P Michael Jackson; You were the best singer I know.

Sleep(less)

Friday

- mcdonalds breakfast w/ babe, ben

- babe’s house / slept

- home

- amc mercado / “UP” w/ babe, bette, tuan

- terrence’s

- drinks

- cox’s

- drinks

- home 3AM

Saturday

- babe’s

- ansel’s birthday/grad party

- amc mercado / hangover w/ pat, lyka, kelly, babe

- tuan’s

- drinks

- home 3AM

Sunday

- father’s day lunch with dad

- petco / bought a hamster =)

- bette’s

- babe’s

- todai

- sierra mountains

- babe’s

- home 10PM

So far, loving it.

a good summer

soooooo

summers beeen grreat! I love it. I think this is gonna top last summers n shit ; Now with my mom being so damn nice n understanding.

summers been going great! I love it soo much. Been going out everyday and shit. Sleepings at babe’s too. MmM .. I finally got my bag! Thanks baby! =) Me and Lyka found a wallet with money in it $$$$$. Hella made our day. We decided to swooop at Urban and Vf, and Walmart. Nothing special yet. Tonight we’re gnna watch The Hangover. Ahhh I’m currently waiting at home for Ben and Babe to finish working out. Watching Degrassi. Kk, blog more whenever I can. Bye!

Ps. I finally get to see my Rachel whom I haven’t seen in like forever!

nonstop, go go go!

This weekend consists of:

- SCHS GRAD.

- Drinks

- Packs

- More drinks

- More packs

- Sleepover (2)

I lovvve it. I start summer school this Thursday, FML. Two more day of sleeping in and going out. Then school all over again ..

Ps. My birthday is in 4 weeks, abiiii

and he's all grown up.
Today is Josh’s graduation at SCHS. I’m really proud of him and what he’s accomplished. The fact of him walking that stage means he’s done and ready to move on. Now what’s left is college. I know he’ll do great. Josh, I wanna let you know that I love you, and now that your off to college now, your bitchass better make time for me! =) Ooooh, 7 more hrs till grad. I can’t wait to see my little baby in his gown and cap =)

offically
heartbroken

i honestly don’t know how i feel right now. sad? mad? depressed? confused? happy? things just aren’t going well. and tomorrows our 13 month. geee how exciting .. i have so much on my mind, i can’t possibly think right now. i need to make up my mind and settle with it. i’m also tired of being looked at as the “bad” person. and how people think they know everything about relationships, when really they don’t know shit. shut the fuck up and grow up.

- today was finals. i did 5 essays in 2hrs for english. hella b/s’d on it but w/e i think i did good.

- went to jack in the box with jen during break

- didn’t do anything in 2nd but watched “never back down” ; had a party too. i forgot to turn in my finals for 2nd so need to get that in by today

- lunch

- finals for history. passed that shit with a B =)! didn’t really bring my grade up -_- but managed to pass with a fucking D+, yay me!

so far today is going by good. need to work on my essay real quick and i guess chill at home.

prom / afterparty

zeeee beest night of my life.

p-p-p-rommmM!

is tonight! So farrr, my day is startin’ off very fab. =) Need to wake baby up and apologize.

Looking forward to

A wonderful time at prom, then party hardy at the afterparty. Skeee!

P.S I love you Joshua =)

UGH, plans for after prom got killed.. My mom just notified me that my cousin’s graduation was on Sunday, which means I may not be able to sleep over after prom .. Ahhhh, FML. Idk, I might not even go and just sleep over. But idk yet.. Still deciding. On the other hand, I laaaaav my hair and so does everyone. Heheh. =) Proms in 4 days! Wooooot.

back to blond(e).

So school was alright. Went by really slow.. I was tired like fuck. I had a fever during 2nd and lasted til 5th.. I wanted to go home so bad but I just sucked it up and went through the day feeling like shit. After school daddy dropped me home and I got ready. Babyyy picked me up and we stopped by safeway to get hair dye. Went to his house, and showed Lyka my prom dress. She’s gonna alter it for me and shaaat, thanks sweetie! After she dyed my hair. Not the whole head, but like random chunks. It came out nice, except my bangs are lightest outta the entire hair. She also did a Racoon Tail in the back but you prolly wont notice it cos the rest of the hair took forever to get lighter so we just fucked it and left it. It still looks boooOootiiiful =) Ate, then had to go home cos babe had to pick up Lola. I miss him, lots <3> PS. Reminder, to buy pearls to go with the dress and buy bootnier.

sick?!

Sick.. Fever and coughing.. Ugh, right before the week of prom. blehhh, fml.

Ps. got my bra =) now i just need to get it altered and have lyka fix the bottom of my dress.

Today was fun. Babe picked me up and then went to pick up Ben at Quicklys. After went to his house so I could shower. Got ready, but suppose to go to Agape’s but then shit came up. After went to Tuan’s house to play and chill. Hah, it was cool until I had this random “emo” mood… Idk.. Had a talk with Betty, I love you girl, thanks for understand & thanks for the stoge Tuan! I herrra needed it. Went home at 12. Imy baby. Bussy, Busssy weekend! Tomorrow is Bia’s grad party thing then Sun, get my dress altered, and buy a strapless bra at VS.

smother me.

“Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Surely you can take some comfort
Knowing that you’re mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I’m all over you
would you smother me?”

Remember when you’d always sing this to me in bed?

The fucking tattoo I want!

It all makes sense.

I was too blind to even realize it. What I’ve become, and what others didn’t want me to be.

skype

I remember we use to always skype since we couldn’t see eachother on the weekdays often.. I miss seeing your pretty face everyday.. Miss seeing you smile.. Miss your air kisses.What happened? Is it me? Or am I the only one who notices..

Schools ending in less than 3 weeks! I’m excited, yet scared I might bomb my History Finals.. Today I turned in my essays for english, thanks baby! I feel proud so that should hella raise my grade up. School went by slow, and it was hot! After school went home and showered. Babe stopped by for a bit and we just settled some things and talked. Mmm, nothing like a stoge and zee boyfriend =) Then he had to go .. =( Booo*So… babe was talking to me and about the whole moving out situation when I graduate. I need to find a job fast, esp this summer. I also need to do good in school for baby, cos he wants me too. And if I want a car by the time I graduate, I need do do EXTRA good nxt yr. Hopefully I’m able to pull off my finals and get my 5 classes.

Guys drink to forget about girls. Girls drink to think back about the guy. When guys are in love, they become poor. When girls are in love they become pretty. Guys can forget, but can’t forgive. Girls can forgive but can’t forget. Guys break up when they feel love from another girl. Girls break up when they feel the separation from their man. Guys feel curiosity towards all girls. Girls feel curiosity towards guys who are interested in them. When guys are heartbroken they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl. When girls are heartbroken they try to find his characteristics in another guy. But finally, guys wish to be her first love, girls wish to be his last.

I found my dress, finally! a week before prom and shit. I guess you can consider it a “prom” type dress but whatever. I think its herra cute n prom material so I got it. I also got a cute headband to go with it. Now i need to figureout what to do with makeup, hair? Rachel said she’d do my hair but idk if she still is.. but hopefully. =) i’m also planning to dye my hair blonde like i had it before, so prolly this weekend, i’ll ask lyka to dye it for me. i still need to shop for shoes n a strapless bra. prom is approx 10 days! so i’m herrra excited! =) watch out bitches! i’ma roll up to prom in all black =)

P.S Rachel baby lemme know if u can still do my hurrr n shit. lemme know like a day before prom. kk ilove u babes.

ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT ..

Cheeea, another sleepless night .. 3days ina row and still creeping on me? Fuck, I think I needa get on that Tylenol shit, before bed, cos I can’t keep dealing with all this stress and bullshit. My headaches keep getting worse, my moodswings are disorientated, and my sleeping patterns are NOT healthy. I seriously have problems right now. I’ve been so worried to the point I’m worried about myself and my surroundings. I’m paranoid every sec, every minute, every day, every night. I don’t know if this is unusual, but it’s driving me crazy! I feel like somethings following me, when I’m at home alone. I have nightmares practically every single night .. I feel sick, and not the kind of sick that you’ll need your mom to take care of you, but the kind of sick where your “Mental” sick. At times I have these moments where I see things from a quick glance and sense a bad vibe. Call me crazy, but I’m trippen out like fuck. =l

NAHTT FEEELIN' IT TODAY

I feel sick to da dommme! My head hurts everytime I move, my tummy has these sharp pains every once inawhile, my back is killing me, and I think I’m getting my ragg soon. Ughhh, I feel like shit, and so outta place right now. Just started off with the 2nd semester, wasn’t that bad. Classes went by pretty fast and I didn’t even do shit. Schools passing by pretty fast, and without even knowing, it’ll be summer. I miss zeee boyfriend =( Friday is sucha long time from now .. SO, I made him take a sexy picture of him in his new boxers (;

So, today was the day I FINALLY realized, what life truely means. It can’t always be the way you wanted it to be. Never can, never will. You just gotta deal with it and MOVE ON cos there’s no point of holding onto whats already happened. I feel like this was all my fault, but not really. I also realized I should be thankful that no one got hurt and no charges were pressed, ‘cept the fact there’s some scratches and a dent. And how the fuck we suppose to come up with 6G’S?! WHAT A NICE WAY TO START THE NEW YEAR >:l

Wednesday:

ENGLISH 8AM-10AM

AVID 10AM-12PM

U.S 12PM-3PM

Thursday:

FRENCH 8AM-10AM

ART 10AM-12PM

Friday:

ALG.2 8AM-10AM

CHEM. 10AM-12PM

I’m sorry today couldn’t be special.. I’m sorry that I fucked things up over stupid shit. I’m always fucking up, and I never change. I’m sorry for not talking to you the entire day. It hurts me you know. To know that my ways aren’t always the best ways. We’ve been through alot. This is probabely the 2nd time we’ve fought this hard. It’s not healthy at all. Especially when this is my 2nd time fucking up. It was hard for me to look you straight in the eye and tell you that I’m sorry. Also hard for me to even talk to you afterwards. I feel like I’m not doing a good job as a girlfriend lately. I feel like I’m slowly failing my duty. I feel like shit. I cry my heart out and ask myself, “Why?” Why did I do this. Sometimes I feel like you can do so much better, and that you deserve someone else. Someone who won’t start up shit over the dumbest and littlest things. Someone who just excepts the truth and fact. Someone who won’t make you sad or cry. I try real hard, to change.. To change my habits. I’m scared that one day you’re gonna leave me, ‘cos you’ll be fed up with me. I’m scared that I might lose you ‘cos of ME. I don’t wanna make you feel like I’m pushing you away. I know I’ve been acting hella immature lately, but I really do apologize for that. I hate us fighting, I hate crying, I hate feeling like shit every other day. I know we still have a long way ahead of us and there’s still so much time. I want you to know that you mean absolutely everything to me, and that I love you with all my heart. I will never leave you because I’m madly inlove with you. I know I may not show it at times, but that’s ‘cos I’m still alittle scared. I just need you to understand that I’ve been through alot in the past and I don’t wanna deal with it again. But I want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and show you the finer things in life, because you’re the one who keeps me going on and on. Happy 8 months b, I LOVE you, I ALWAYS will ..

Reality check (Continued)

So I’ve come to realize that this year is going to be different. Everything is slowly coming to an end. And in just a matter of time, you’re LEGAL. I’m turning 17 soon, and I need to start thinking outside of the box.

1)Reality check, 2)School, 3)New years resolution

1) School’s tomorrow.. & my break JUST started. My mom finally stopped naggin’ and bitching at me about going out and on the regular basis. She hasn’t been talking to me since last week. Its HEAVEN. Been out ALOT this entire break. Didn’t do shit on New years, but s’ok. I’ve also realized that the year is going by pretty fast and that I only have 1 more year left of schoool! Also I’m turning 17 soon. YAY!

2) On the other hand .. FINALS is in a week.. So gotta study, study, study for that. Fuck, my sleeping pattern is fucked up. Been crashin’ around 1-2AM, til 12-1PM. Alll baddd. And waking up to 6AM again is gonna be a bitch. AHHHH! Fuck school, can’t wait to graduate and get up outta this bitttch! :) But anyyways. The new year started off good.

DOUGthePOWERFUL: well

DOUGthePOWERFUL: welcome back to SCHOOL

DOUGthePOWERFUL: where every mothafucker is sleep deprived

DOUGthePOWERFUL: except those squares that sleep at 9pm

DOUGthePOWERFUL: cause mommy said so

DOUGthePOWERFUL: haha

3) I’ve been working on my NewYears Resolution and there’s alot I wanna accomplish and stay committed to:

• Focus on school more
• Grow out my hair
• Get a job
• Gain some weight
• Exercise
• Learn to bake/cook
• Be organized
• Less bitchy, more assertive
• Be more appreciative
• Get my L’s
• Cut down on smoking DID THAT :)

& More to come.