I’m sorry today couldn’t be special.. I’m sorry that I fucked things up over stupid shit. I’m always fucking up, and I never change. I’m sorry for not talking to you the entire day. It hurts me you know. To know that my ways aren’t always the best ways. We’ve been through alot. This is probabely the 2nd time we’ve fought this hard. It’s not healthy at all. Especially when this is my 2nd time fucking up. It was hard for me to look you straight in the eye and tell you that I’m sorry. Also hard for me to even talk to you afterwards. I feel like I’m not doing a good job as a girlfriend lately. I feel like I’m slowly failing my duty. I feel like shit. I cry my heart out and ask myself, “Why?” Why did I do this. Sometimes I feel like you can do so much better, and that you deserve someone else. Someone who won’t start up shit over the dumbest and littlest things. Someone who just excepts the truth and fact. Someone who won’t make you sad or cry. I try real hard, to change.. To change my habits. I’m scared that one day you’re gonna leave me, ‘cos you’ll be fed up with me. I’m scared that I might lose you ‘cos of ME. I don’t wanna make you feel like I’m pushing you away. I know I’ve been acting hella immature lately, but I really do apologize for that. I hate us fighting, I hate crying, I hate feeling like shit every other day. I know we still have a long way ahead of us and there’s still so much time. I want you to know that you mean absolutely everything to me, and that I love you with all my heart. I will never leave you because I’m madly inlove with you. I know I may not show it at times, but that’s ‘cos I’m still alittle scared. I just need you to understand that I’ve been through alot in the past and I don’t wanna deal with it again. But I want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and show you the finer things in life, because you’re the one who keeps me going on and on. Happy 8 months b, I LOVE you, I ALWAYS will ..
